100 word weekly challenge

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i wanted to come up with a gross story for the gross challenge…

friday night at the big house (<play me)

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“In or out?”
Marge drummed her fingers impatiently, leaving greasy splotches on the table, but Marlon wouldn’t be rushed. Her tell was so obvious.

The illicit card game at the Big House Spa happens right after visitation… while the sacks are still hot.

If Marlon played his hand right, he might still turn his fast food Mexican into a decent meal.

Typically the game was  small fries, but tonight… Al had ponied up big steaks… Everybody was salivating…

Marlon visualized Lady Luck passing the salt;
“I’ll see your chicken nuggets, and raise you a chalupa… Yeah, baby! Super size me!

if i was going going to hava a body modification, i would want to have the removable arm. you know, for cuddling comfortably… no more “umph, ’scuse me, i hafta change position…my arms asleep.”

(play me >) procedure-47

Serena, I’m taking off the bandages now… are you ready? Blink once for yes, twice for no…

OK
The Vox in a Box is your 47th procedure… You are arguably the most perfect person alive –

You’ve had all the classics – the tummy, tush, tata trifecta; a complete body lipo; collagen  lip injections…..

I must say, of your rarer augmentations, the removable arm quick release and orbital gyros for improved eye rolling are some of my finest work….

Gently now…. Let’s hear how the Vox works. Now you’ll sing like Yma Sumac…

Damn Chinese instructions….

Well then dear, ready for #48?

here’s another chesnut. the topic this week was “oil”, which i interpreted as olive oyl, of course

family matters (<play me)

Hiya Castor, I can’t talk, I’m getting ready for a date….

No, it’s not Hamgravy
No, not Brutus …
Not the sheik…. No, it’s not the movie producer… Eww not him  – he was too greasy…

This guy’s soooo handsome, He’s a sailor! How I love a man in uniform…

I AM NOT A SLUT!  That’s a terrible thing to say about your sister…

Yes, yes….I will tell Cylinda… yea, you still love her…. You really need to get over
her, big brother… how ’bout I set you up with one of my girlfriends?

YOU WOULD NOT GET A DISEASE!! You’re awful!!

hi folks, i am going to be out of pocket for a few weeks, as if you would even notice…

here is a little longer story that i did for jeffrey hite’s writing podcast GreatHites; this is my first attempt at a story that is longer than 100 words… i hope you like it. check out what jeff is doing, and feel free to participate: http://GreatHites.blogspot.com

when i return, i hope to share some lovely pictures of foreign lands…

JERRY

Jerry knew what was what in the world.

Sure, he had wanted to go to college, but his grades weren’t so good in high school, so he thought he’d work for a few years. Uncle Joe got him a job as a laborer on construction sites, but Jerry knew he could do better than that. Paying attention, he made sure he was in the right spot when the carpenter’s helper showed up drunk, and then he started making real money. Everything was going as planned until Mary got pregnant, and school was put on permanent hold.

The years rolled by…

Jerry was known for running a tight crew and keeping his work zone clean; it was a “Tidy Friday” that he came across a neon green tape measure. He picked it up and placed it in the roll-around toolbox. Funny, he couldn’t remember who it belonged to, but the guy who lost it would have a better chance of finding it in there.

And there the tape sat for months.

The building exterior was finished as the trees dropped their last leaves. There had been the usual layoffs, but Jerry had been able score the gravy job of interior rough stud walls, and could keep a few of his A-team together, at least for the next few months. And, Jerry wasn’t running the dry wall crew. Galvanized steel beat gypsum any day, hands down. Good thing too, because he was on a regular diet of Ibuprofen and cigarettes. Much more heavy lifting and he’d be done for. It wasn’t rocket science, but if he didn’t pay attention to being plumb and square, all the other trades, the sheetrockers, the electricians, the plumbers, the painters, would drag his name through the dirt. Reaching down for his tape,  Jer accidentally flipped it off his tool belt, and watched it plummet through an unfinished HVAC penetration to the floor below.

He sent his apprentice after it, but the hard impact damaged the spring, and now it would not recoil.

“Dammit, not what I need today; the sparkys will be here to pull the electrical tomorrow, and we got to get these walls done. Is that goofy green tape still in the job box? Go get it, and while you’re there, grab me a few Tums.”

Jerry and his apprentice started to lay out the new walls, and everything was normal ‘til just before break. The apprentice pulled the tape, walking to the projected corner. Jerry watched the numbers, then called out –“Ho…” Double checking the tape, though, he didn’t see numbers, instead, there was a message: Your girls will marry well.

“What the… “

Jerry blinked, refocusing his eyes; he wouldn’t let his apprentice see his confusion. That’s what he thought – “Yea, mark it 16’4”. There was minor twinge in his left arm, but he ignored it. “Come on, let’s eat.” he said, mostly to cover for the strange feeling he was starting to have. He hadn’t really seen that, had he?

“You alright, Jer? You don’t look so good…”

“I’ll be ok after break”

30 minutes raced by. Jerry still felt odd, but the walls weren’t going to build themselves, He sent his apprentice out again. And again there was a note: Mary will be ok. Every dimension, there was another reassuring fragment.

The house is paid for.
The girls will go to college.
Your investments are sound.

But his anxiety continued to mount, and he was starting to sweat.
One last wall and they’d be done. Jerry dreaded looking down.

You did a good job. You measured up.

Jerry jerked the taped as he collapsed.
Now the green tape too, was broken, and wouldn’t recoil.

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the cruel enforcer

(^play me)
Is that a Terran artifact?

Yes, an ancient torture book I think…

This Fannie Farmer was a cruel Enforcer…
No mercy for dissidents… listen…

Beat the whites until frothy…

Quarter the chicken, cutting along the backbone…
Grill over low flame, until skin is crisp…

Or this…

Take the fruits, put them in the blender, pulse until smooth…
Can you imagine the mess?

If that’s the treatment for proclivities, I wonder what Farmer did to anarchists?

Life is more civilized now…
If there is weakness in the gene pool, it’s eliminated before emergence from the test tube.

Homogeny equals peace, brother.

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family history

(^play me)

Ai! Mama, I am afraid!

What is it, hijo?

I saw the chupacabra! That is his shadow on the wall… he is outside!

You saw what? Your grandmother has been telling you
stories…She would have to talk to Abuela about frightening the boy.

I only see your cousin Lupito, coming home late… Go to sleep now, hijo mio.
Can I have a light, mama? The chupacabra might come back….

Just for a while…

Luz knew that soon,  she would have to tell her son about the family history, that there were real monsters, much much more frightening than some village myth.

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ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!

this story was voted most popular by listeners… remember, these stories are originally published at podcasting.isfullofcrap.com

laurence simon writes a 100 word story every day, and saturday collects a sheaf of stories from the rest of us, written with a suggested common theme. have a listen and then vote for the ones that appealed to you. thanks! you can get there from here via the link on the left

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uncle louie’s magic (<play me)

Uncle Louie is magical when he makes airplanes.
A crease here, a fold there, and then he blows a little fairy dust under the wings to make them fly right.

He’s so good, he even gives his planes windows.
“Why windows?” I asked
“So people can look out, silly.”

A few puffs, and I have a fleet!

Evening settles in, I want something more.
“Do planes fly when they’re on fire?”
“Hmmm…Let’s walk down to the lake and find out….”

I light wings and launch the planes over the water.
“Ooooo! Look! you can see the people panicking inside!”

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june1st_(<play me)

Crudites. Chateaubriand. Cheesecake

Sumptuous meals are her waking thoughts. Savory dishes she would eat, once she could fit into her wedding dress. It would mean so much to mother.

Mum was aghast when Sandy ballooned to a size 6. All those summers at fat camp, for naught. Never mind that Chick Corea could trade licks with Gary Burton on her ribcage. Or that she broke her ankle slipping thru the sewer grate.

Sandy pulls her feeding tube to go puke again. She’d look good in that Vera Wang confection, even if it kills her.

Only 5 more pounds…

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i was traveling during this weeks challenge – so there was more time for the mind to wander…

here are two stories that didn’t get produced….

VERBOTTEN

Don’t.
Don’t do that; Don’t touch that. Don’t even go there.
LALALALALA I’m not paying attention…

You’re asking for trouble, big boy .
If that gets out, life will end as you know it.

Need to talk? Fine.

Who scored what last weekend? Great.
Polyamorous Relationships? OK.
BDSM? You know what that means? Really?  I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

What is taboo?
Politics more than a month before the elections.
Shop talk in the lunch hall.
Any mention of your starting wage to any of the old timers….
Wondering aloud if there is a God.

Verbotten.
Underscored. Twice.
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TABOO

Taboo struts onto the stage in her schoolgirl outfit.
It’s  late Tuesday afternoon, and the club is going to be slow.
Big Dave is at his post by the door, the other girls are working the few Johns in the joint.
“Damn I hate this job,” thinks T as she grinds her hips to the music. “Too bad it’s the quickest way to make a little cha-ching. Yoga seem to be paying off.
And I hate working  these northern industrial towns. I can’t wait for summer to be over and to get back to teaching  3rd grade in Florida.”

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This one is a zombie story….

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thereisacure(<play me)

Zoe has slipped from the realm of the living.

Once, she was a caring, vibrant woman who volunteered at the shelter .Now she worries if she can get a manicure Tuesday.

Maury Povich  is her bokor.  Hooked on  “Hard Copy” and  “A Current Affair”, Zoe has lost her consciousness. She  is a Psychological Zombie.

But I can’t let her go..

I know I can help. Given a strong enough emotional connection to the mortal world, zombies can break  the trance. Kidnapping Zoe’s  parents wasn’t enough. This time, I’ll take drastic measures on her lapdog.

Eventually, I will succeed.

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