zabbadabba

You know how they say you should trust your inner voice? What do you do when it mutters foreign gibberish?

¡Ai caramba! Dejame tocarlo…

I ransack my brain for the dregs of my college Spanish to figure out what I am saying.

Just let me touch it…

Worse, we start to argue…

No, that’s not a good idea…
¡Por qué no?! ¡Eres tan miedoso! Scardeypants!

That did it. I reach out my hand… touching the bushy caterpillar of Frida Kahlo’s eyebrow. Immediately it transforms into a vivid blue butterfly and flutters away.

Damn, that’s good Mescal. Self, pour another round!

——-

and imagine that, this file is too big to download.

you will have to go to the archives at http://podcasting.isfullofcrap.com and look in the march 2009 archives.

wc149_anima_mothballs (<play me!)

Thor sweetie….

Here’s your list of honey-do’s: The screens need to be taken down at
Bilskirner, and doesn’t your hammer Mjollnir have autoreturn on it? It
is still by the front door where you tossed it when you came in. And ,
please, please put out some mothballs around the garden. I read in the
Godesses Home Journal that the naphthalene has some effect against
snakes. Maybe then we will be rid of Jormungand. The humans are
complaining he is putting a squeeze on Midgard…

Ja, you betcha, Sif. I’ll get right on that…

Doesn’t she know it’s Ragnarok this weekend?

_____

it was very fun trying to speak ina svedish ak-sent!

special thanks to arri gaffer for helping me this one…

you dont bring me flowers any more (<tocalo)

Welcome to Hexalia’s Exotics!

I need a special  arrangement…

Yes? What mood do you want?  Is it business? Here is a lovely formal design.
Lost love reunited perhaps?  Pink roses are perfect…

Friends tell me you deal in emotional blooms…

Certainly! Currently I have spears of Gladiolas, Madilolas, and Egadiolas.

Anything more dark or sinister? It’s for the rehearsal dinner of my ex and her new trophy partner…

Might I suggest a centerpiece of Callow Lilies, Shunflowers and Penury Blossums…
with sprigs of Purple Violence at each place setting… bouquets to end any relationship in 90 days or less, guaranteed.

this was originally written to coincide with lincoln’s birthday…

picking a date (<play me)

Abe was stumped.

The Ball was his invitation into “polite society”, and he wanted to make a good first impression. Growing up in rural Kentucky, Abe had never “run with the cool kids”. Here it was Thursday, and he still hadn’t decided on a date for the weekend.

There was saucy Rebecca Stevens, with her fiery wit, or social Mary Todd, with a sweet temperament and a rich daddy.

Scratching the stubble on his chin, Abe reached into his pocket, pulled out a penny, and flicked it in the air.

“Heads it’s Mary, Tails, ‘Becca,” he said, smirking to himself.

final verdict (<play me)

Canines and Felines of the jury:
Ignore your emotions. Only weigh the evidence when deciding about William Wegman.

Consider how he tortured Man and Fay Ray for years, isolating them from their pack,
anthropomorphing them… robbing them of their canine dignity.

Wegman exploited the Rays from early puppyhood to their last days, expecting, no, DEMANDING obedience. He dressed them for his perverted pleasures, and profited from his dogsploitation!

You’ve seen the photos – hundreds of them. Recall the haunted looks, the humiliating postures, the demoralization of these once proud dogs.…

Let justice be served – Find Wegman guilty of Gross Animal Cruelty!

(sorry, no soundfile on this one – IT’S TOO BIG)

Some say Italians make the best shoes: supple leather loafers, spiky fashion heels, sturdy Alp summitting boots. I despise concrete shoes…

I prefer abstract footwear, known as shoeness in certain circles. My favorite designer, Lincoln Haddock, conceives shoeness that allows toes to express their individual “phalangeness”. He sees them as splatter-colored chaotic motion ideas for feet. I’ve never seen my Haddock’s, but they go with positively everything, and are always a perfect fit. They feel like walking on the beach, without the grit.

Waiter, can I please order now?
What do you mean, “No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service?”

Title Wave is the name of my favorite indepedent bookstore, in Anchorage, AK. good for hours and hours of cheap entertainment. others do drugs, i do books.

_________

(play me>)wc143_anima_tidal-wave

I stood in the library, consoling Aunt Lois. Uncle Nemo’s legs jutted from beneath the toppled bookcase.

“Poor Nemo, he always had a distant look, like he was scanning the horizon for giant squid. He was fascinated with the ocean, even though he never left Colorado. It made him a little nutty, to be drydocked by mountains; all he dreamed about was sailing the seven seas. This library was filled with charts and tales of pirates, ships and nautical adventure.

Do you think the coroner might be so kind as to put down the cause of death as Title Wave?”